Survivor and Supermom: Redefining Strength on Her Own Terms
BY ARIANA TAVAKKOLI
Many people believe that being strong means being invincible and never having to ask for help, but exemplifying that definition throughout the ups and downs of life is simply not sustainable. For Roshi Peters, being strong means “To be grateful, appreciative, and to count your blessings by always looking at the glass half full.”
Ms. Peters is a mom of 3, a wife, and a survivor of cancer. She was diagnosed when her kids were four, five, and nine years old. When she first went to the radiologist, she says she “could tell by their reaction that it was not good news.” At first, when she discovered she had breast cancer, she was angry and couldn’t believe it, but as a mother, the first thought that ran through her head was how she could make sure her kids had a “normal” summer. For a little while, she didn’t tell anybody but her husband, as she was scared of being a burden to the rest of her family. Although even throughout this rough period, she always acknowledged that this fight against cancer was never just about her, but she “believed it was for the whole family.”
Something that helped give Ms. Peters strength throughout her journey with cancer was staying positive and grateful. She never doubted that she could beat her illness. Every day, she would express her gratitude to the caregivers, nurses, doctors, and technicians who were part of her recovery process, and she remains “very appreciative and thankful for them.” Besides them, she felt grateful for all the support from her husband and friends, which helped her stay strong. Ms. Peters also mentioned that during her cancer treatment, while she was in the hospital, all around her there would be “amazing strong people who were flying, driving, and taking trains from all different parts of the country to stay with family or at hotels nearby. Whereas I just drove 20 minutes to get to my treatment. So I always felt thankful and encouraged by those people.”
While positivity helped Ms. Peters immensely, there were times when trying her best to stay positive or “strong” looked different. She shared that this journey helped her redefine what strength means as being vulnerable and present, not invincible. During her treatment, Ms.Peters “never felt a pressure to keep it together for others, but sometimes for her own sanity.” She would allow herself to cry once a day in the morning in the shower, and then that was it. This was how she let herself let go of any thoughts or concerns. After that, she would strive to let her day go on as best as possible. And of course, her best looked different every day. Another thing that was hard for Ms. Peters while balancing motherhood and cancer was the internal battles she fought. She felt very guilty for changing her family's summer plans, as she didn’t want to hold back the rest of them. However, her family showed her throughout their constant acts of support that she was their number one priority.
Another thing that remained important for Ms.Peters was adjusting to this new challenge. For example, in order to take care of herself physically and emotionally, she had to unlearn the mindset that her kids always had to come first. She learned that it’s okay to prioritize herself over her husband and kids, “which was extremely difficult,” but sometimes she didn’t have a choice. Another habit she had to develop was understanding that in certain situations, the bravest thing you can do is to ask for help. There was a time when Ms.Peters wanted to go to the Block Center in Chicago, and with her husband staying home to watch their 3 kids, she had nobody to go with her. She mentioned that at first she was nervous asking her friend to go with her, as her friend already had her hands full with a 5 and 7-year-old at home, but her friend said absolutely. For 4 days, her friend was her eyes and ears, and she shared all of Ms. Peters' medical info with a new set of doctors. Ms. Peters stated “That experience only made us closer, and I have been able to return her generosity through the years during both happy and difficult times.” She explained that asking for help allows others to do the same. Vulnerability taught Ms. Peters that “There are so many kind people in the world who want to help you.”
Even throughout her fight with cancer, Ms.Peters stayed strong for herself and for her children. Overall, she is a survivor and supermom, and her superpower is that she recognized that strength is not achieved by being perfect but through perseverance and honesty. Her fight is a reminder to moms around the world that it’s okay to redefine strength on your own terms.
